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Posts Tagged ‘Control freak’

We get up everyday, get ready and attack our to-do lists and goals like a hungry tiger.  We know it’s important to lead healthy lives and be productive, good citizens in our community.  The deal is, sometimes it doesn’t always go down that way.  There are days when we have legitimate excuses like, **I have a stomach bug and I can’t go more than 5 feet from the bathroom**.  Another good excuse is, **My kid is sick and needs me to snuggle them back to health**.  I know there are other excuses some may deem to be legit.  In the end, for whatever reason, sometimes we FAIL!!  Whether that failure comes with a legit excuse or the other kind *that we don’t ever like to admit too*, we ALL FAIL sometimes.  How you deal with this failure is the difference in the people who are a success and the ones that let it define them, what they do, and the decisions they make after said failure.

Molly's last perm and hair fail!

Molly’s last perm and hair fail!

There are many schools of thought on this.  I won’t be talking about them all on this post *nor do I even probably know them all*.  

  • Always strive for success and if you fail, you suck and need to be better or you’ll suck forever.  Yeah, so, I’m guessing that most of you will agree, this isn’t a very positive direction to go.  What this will undoubtedly lead to is a snowball of constant failures, getting larger and larger each time, ending in a deep and possibly dangerous depression.
  • So I failed!  What of it?  I know I’ll do it again so, whatever….”where’s that tub of ice cream?”  I’m of the mindset that this method is equally bad on the other side of the spectrum from the first.  To be so uncaring of your failures or missteps, is the same as not caring about yourself at all.  Guess where that leads…..Yep, more and more failures….oh yeah and right back to that deep and possibly dangerous depression again.
  • Yeah, I failed.  It happens sometimes.  This is what I’ve learned…This is what I feel….This is my plan of action.  This could be a productive path to take and here’s why;

Knowing that EVERYONE fails sometimes means that you need to recognize that failure is as common as breathing and a chance for awesomeness ahead.  When you’ve had a failure, own it.  Know that it’s common and that it does nothing more than give you a learning opportunity.  Analyze why you’ve failed.  Did you set yourself up for sabotage?  Did you leave bad triggers and landmines all over your path set up for that day?  Did you get enough sleep and fuel your body properly for whatever your task was?  If not, than the failure can’t be much of a surprise can it?  Here’s the learning part….take the reason you’ve failed and never set yourself up to have it happen like that again.  Yes, you may fail at the same task again but, it’ll probably be for a new reason, and you can adjust so, you don’t fail again for that reason.  Before you know it….I doubt you’ll fail at that task ever again.

Toe turn fail!!

Toe turn fail!!

Toe turn success

Toe turn success

We will all fail, at many different things, all the time throughout our lives.  *please repeat that last sentence filled with commas so you pause and let it soak in*  Failing is great…..IF……you take that failure, learn from it, grow from it and end up thriving from it.  Learn to love yourself and know that you deserve to not let failures define you as a failure.  Don’t let negative talk give a failure power to bring you down that dark abyss of nastiness.

Here’s how I’m hoping you’ll move forward to make failures work in your favor and set yourself up for success (regardless of what your tasks are, these tips are universal);

  1. Get enough sleep every night (8ish hours for adults).  Try very hard to not screw up your schedule on the weekends.  It’s fun to stay up late and live more carefree when you don’t have an alarm the next morning.  However, the weekend is only 2 nights, and recovering lost sleep (or wonky sleep) on Sunday night isn’t going to cut it and now you’ve started a brand new week on a crap note.
  2. Before you hit the rack for your totally awesome and healing sleep, make your next day’s Plan of Action.  You may have a working calendar on your phone or the old school paper kind.  Maybe you just write out a list on a fun notepad or journal *swooning at the thought of shopping for notepads and journals because, the office supply section just does that to me* 😉 Regardless of how you do, look at your schedule, decide what things need to be done and prioritize them accordingly.  Imagine how much more successful you’ll be when that hungry tiger is all ready for the day and has a working task list all ready to go in front of them?  Totally unstoppable right!?! 

    Thanks to “The Dork Side” for this funny.

    (Also to Kristen Lamb who saw this funny first and posts loads of funny’s for all our enjoyment)

  3. Be sure you have the Proper fuel for your body.  A tiger can’t get much accomplished or have many successes on cupcakes.  With proper nutrition for your body **not all bodies need the same nutrition so, experiment with various nutrients until your body looks and FEELS awesome!!  To start, I’d go with no sugar and no processed food and go from there to see what your body tolerates** 
  4. This goes into #3 but, it’s so important that it deserves its own number.  DRINK YOUR WATER!!! Hydration is one of the biggest keys to success.  I’ve blogged about it before here .  There are SO MANY REASONS why drinking more water than almost all of us currently do, will help us be successful in all endeavors in our lives.  The biggest reason of course is that it keeps us HEALTHY!!!!.
  5. Take your day in stride.  Everyday will be different.  Things happen and many times we aren’t in control.  Learn how to relax about it all.  At the end of the day, if something happened and you have a failure to-do on your list.  Recognize if it happened because of something that was in or out of your control?  If it was out of your control then, um hello….totally not your fault!!  Add it to your next days list and move one.  If it was in your control, ok then, what should I have done different?…Alright, that’s what I’ll do tomorrow and we’ll get it done right next time.  

At the end of the day….failures are just blips and they can be learned from and changed.  Don’t let it be anything else.  You are worth it, your family is worth it and society wants you to love yourself enough to take a failure, dust off and keep on, keepin’ on!!!

**I have been SUCCESSFUL at writing this post after having FAILED writing a post for quite some time.  YAY for me!!  Onto learning how I made it happen and doing it more often!!**

What is the biggest failure you’ve had and what did you do with it?  Would you have done something different if it happened again?

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At one time in my life I thrived on routine and habitual acts that I could count on doing.  I think pretty much all young children thrive with some kind of routine.  Some grow out of that……some dont.  It definitely took me a long time to grow out of it in some areas.  It was a forced growth in others.  I married a military man.  The way his military career was, we were moving less than ever 2 years.  That can force some serious change growth!  As it turned out, every move we made was clear across to the other coast so, it was night and day just in the weather difference.  Add in new living spaces needing new or different furniture.  Of course we needed to set up our home differently in every place to accomodate the new space.  The list goes on and on….new doctors, new markets, new recreational stuff…..  The moves challenged me in many ways.  In the end, it was all a good thing but, it didn’t always feel like that at the time.  Now, I LOVE change!  I get bored without it.  When we separated from the military and settled down….it was about 3 years in and I was begging for some change in our home especially.  I still loved our house but, I was so sick and seeing the same set up every day.  I started rearranging furniture…..buying new stuff…..painting….all that only goes so far.  Now, the only routine I seem to have is in direct relation to my children’s schedules.  When they need to go to school or lessons here or there.  I used to be very dedicated to certain TV shows….now I only have a couple I’ve been watching regularly.  I’ll find a good one and then forget about it before it’s on again.  My very latest venture is hair color!  I’m totally addicted to changing my hair color all the time.  It’s not blonde, then brown and maybe some red.  We’re talking crazy colors.  At the moment my hair color is pink and violet.  Only they are starting to fade now so, the violet is more light blue/green.  I’m also more apt to accept new style trends and own it.  That is something that would’ve been very outside my comfort zone a few years back.

Here’s my daughter and I with some foils in and showing off her color.

Ok, I know….enough with my silly changes……what’s my point???  All this change that I was so reluctant to and struggled to be at peace with, has brought me amazing PEACE!  Whatever it is…..I’m generally cool with it.  Ok, not in ALL aspects of my life but, hey I’m a work in progress and someday…..it may just be that ALL aspects of my life are “cool with whatever” and it’s all about chillaxin’ in the end.  Won’t that be nice?!?!!  **Picturing myself poolside, mountain and lake view, with a lovely beverage in my hand and my favorite snack within reach while I pour into my favorite reads**

It’s interesting to watch the people in your life react to change or lack thereof.  You can learn a lot about someone really quickly if you just clue in to their response to change.  Chances are, if you are anti change…..the people you are around most probably are cool with it.  This isn’t the case all the time of course but, how often can a couple major control freaks who hate change, really ever agree on anything or be at peace.  It’s likely they always go to the same place for lunch because, not only do they not want to change but, could they even agree on another place??

Learning to deal with change will help you excel in your life.  Not only will you broaden your horizons and allow yourself to experience new things but, it will teach you to be flexible.  I ask you, look at your life and the people you deal with in your life……wouldn’t being flexible make things a lot easier on everyone?  Being flexible can be a serious challenge to control freaks **Here I am in all my control freak glory needing to take my own advice** Having to be flexible means you are not always going to be in control of the situation.  It means possibly allowing others around you to run the show.  DON’T PANIC!!!  It’s OK if someone else takes the reins for a minute.  This will give you time to relax and breath!  Know that although change can be extra hard for a control freak, that most of the time, you can be in CONTROL of the changes yourself……eventually, you’ll have learned how to be flexible without even thinking about it.  Trust me……learning flexibility is the key to chillaxin’!

Lets start pushing your change limits.

~Have you had the same haircut for you can’t tell me how many years?  If so, I challenge you to get a new one.  Not just a little extra trim off the bottom but, one that will actually CHANGE the way you need to do your hair in the morning.  Poor Donald Trump just can’t get out of his hair rut…. 

~Are you in a make-up rut?  When’s the last time you tried a new color on your eyes?  How about…..dare I say….a new brand of make-up?  Make 1 change to your make-up routine…..either a new brand of something or even just a new color on your lips.

~What’s your closet look like?  5 of the same shirt but, different colors?  When you find that awesome top, I say….grab a few colors!!  Then, go find another style and add that to your wardrobe too.  Don’t wear the exact same style 2 days in a row only a different color.  Trust me, the people around you will notice that and it’s not just the judgmental chicks who will notice 😉

~Do you have the same workout routine that you do at the same time of day every time you workout?  If so, this has got to change!  Your body has undoubtedly stalled and isn’t showing you results anymore.  Your body gets used to the same workout and will stop responding to it.  To read more on this, read this post .  Working out at the same time of day isn’t that big of a deal.  Most people have no choice but to consistently do their workout either before or after work.  That said, it’s kind of fun to see what working out at different times of the day does for us.  You may be surprised how that endorphin response changes your day or your evening.

~How many times have you gone to the same restaurant and ordered the same order.  If you go in and the wait staff already know your order before you open your mouth…..time to try one of the other awesome selections.  After all…..if you love the one dish, you’ll likely like another.  The restaurant can’t stay in business with only one good dish.  Just think if you had more than one choice??

I challenge you to pick something and change it in the next week.  You may just surprise yourself with how much you like the new point of view.  Since I want to help you in this process, please chime in and let me know what your change plans are.  Together, we can hold each other accountable on our change journey’s.

Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read my blog.  I hope you found it interesting and informative.  Feel free to share my blog with others.  They might be able to benefit from some change too 😉  

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